Episode 1 - The Early Bird

Arthur was alone in the darkness of dawn when he escaped the empty street and made his way into the tall grey office building of Freedom Inc.

He pushed the button for the elevator, and he checked his watch.

7:34.

He ran his hand through his thinning hair, and a sharp smirk grew into existence.

Arthur stood, hands in the pockets of his khaki coat, looking at his reflection in the elevator mirror as it grumbled and hummed and shook with just enough vigour to make one nervous, and it slowly climbed the innards of Freedom Inc.

The elevator dinged, and Arthur took one more glance at his tie, straightening it carefully and prudently, before checking his watch once more.

7:36.

Arthur was the first one to arrive on his floor. The smirk on his face had now refined itself and matured into a smug and devilish grin. He bounced across the floor with a delightful and joyous grace.

He hung up his coat, and plopped down onto his desk chair.

The soft whir of the office lights rang gently, filling the space with an annoying white light that fought, and was winning, against the dark hues from the morning sky sneaking in through the large office windows.

Arthur checked his watch.

7:38.

He stood up and cautiously peeked his head over the safety of the cubicle walls and scouted the floor. His eyes peered and glanced at the surrounding area, standing up straight like a guarding meerkat.

He was the only one there.

He slumped down again, and rubbed his hands together whilst giggling menacingly to himself like an evil villain. The giggle continued and Arthur embraced the moment - the laughter shook his belly and his head knocked back as the joy and menace flowed through him. He stood and raised his arms above his head - his giggled had now transformed to fully fledged hysterical laughter.

“Today…IS THE DAY!” he declared with vigour.

Arthur shrunk down and huddled, hands clasped together in front of his face. The maniacal laughter had died down; his brow was stern and focused, and his eyes closed. He erratically lurched forward and grabbed the silver picture frame from his desk. He stroked the corners and purred.

“My precious, Jules…”

He pulled the picture closer to his face. His brown eyes now focused on the young woman beaming back to him, her hands resting on a very pregnant belly.

“No more…”

He exhaled and kissed the picture.

“I’m turning things around. No more late starts; no more being the butt of the jokes.”

“This is for us.”

Arthur checked his watch one more time.

7:45.

“You’re the god damn best worker this company has ever seen Arthur.” he told himself as he rose to his feet.

“But first!” he declared with importance, “the toilet!”

The men’s room was pristine. Lemony fresh. The overly bright light illuminated the tiny bathroom like a show room. He unzipped his zipper.

“Chilly morning today, isn’t it chap?” came a very proper voice from his left.

“I guess so.” answered Arthur on autopilot, and without turning his head.

Arthur thought briefly about proper bathroom etiquette. Even now, he found it weird how common it was to converse whilst mid relieving-

Wait.

Arthur did a double take, and slowly turned his head in the direction of the british sounding voice. He blinked several times and his eye brows migrated north away from his eyes in shock.

Standing at the urinal beside him, peering up at him with large, dark, beady eyes, was a badger.

It was wearing a very swanky purple waistcoat, a large black top-hat, and an extremely extravagant gold-rimmed monocle that sparkled and shone as it reflected the bathroom lights.

It adjusted its monocle and as it did so, its swirly, immaculately groomed moustache bounced and wiggled.

“I am terribly sorry about this old boy,” said the badger in its rich aristocratic voice.

“Sorry about wha-”

THUMP.

✧

Arthur awoke slowly, with a groan.

He saw the darkness behind his eyes and it suddenly came back to him. A badger? In the toilet… ?

He cautiously opened his eyes. A dim grey light pierced the gloom. He blinked hard; and opened his eyes slowly.

Between the fuzzy black was the face of the well groomed badger - monocle, moustache, and top hat included.

He blinked even harder, but the badger remained. Its furry head was mere inches from Arthur’s face, causing him to flinch violently - he threw his head backwards and hit it on the wall behind him.

He was slumped up against a wall; it was dark, cramped, and stuffy. The air was damp, and resembled that of a wet dog.

“THE HUMAN IS AWAKE!” came a high pitched scream, followed by a chorus of wild cheering and the pitter patter of small animal feet and paws.

“There you go old chap, I do apologise for the bump on the head and all the secrecacy; needs must and all that.” spoke the badger politely and calmly.

Arthur dared not speak - he rubbed the back of his head and scanned the cramped room to see small woodland creatures in every nook and cranny. Squirrels, mice, birds, a fox, and standing behind the badger, with a vacant and dumbfounded look on its face, a large boar.

Arthur opened his mouth, but words failed him.

“Let’s get this over with!” shouted the fox with a certain venom.

“Now, let’s be calm,” replied the badger, “Arthur here, must be in some shock.”

The badger turned and slowly paced away from Arthur, and stroked his chin. He turned sharply and slowly approached Arthur.

“Just do it Montgomery!” came a shout from the crowd.

Arthur flinched again, and backed up into the wall, hoping for it to open up and swallow him.

The badger rolled its eyes and shouted back. “Really? Really?”

It straightened its monocle.

“What happened to not using our names Jarvis? Seriously.”

“Oh sorry,” came a muffled cry from up somewhere on a shelf.

“Very well,” said Montgomery the badger. “I suppose we should get this over and done with.”

He made its way to Arthur, arms behind his back, and stepping slowly and deliberately - menacingly.

“Wait, wait!” exclaimed Arthur, “I have a pregnant wife, don’t hurt me! Please I’m not above begging please!”

“HOHOHO” the badger laughed deep from its belly - its little waistcoat shuffling and shaking as he did so.

“What do you think this is Arthur dear chap? We’re not going to hurt you!”

Montgomery got in Arthur’s face, his nose now touching Arthur’s.

“We’re the resistance. And you Arty lad, are our man on the inside!”

The small creatures clapped and cheered, small squeaks and excitable noises filled the room. Arthur could not help but notice the tall boar had not moved.

“I -”

“See!” Montgomery cheered, “he is speechless with gratitude!”

The cheering of the animals had turned feverish.

“I know you won’t let us down.” said the badger, “oh and make sure you keep this secret, you can’t be telling them of our plans.”

“What?! I don’t understand what plans? I don’t know what’s going on!” shouted Artur in disbelief.

“That’s the spirit! We’ll be in touch chap, we’re all relying on you!” THUMP

✧

Arthur opened his eyes, this time to the sight of the grey sky and dark clouds above him.

He sat up and rubbed his head, running his fingers over two large paw sized lumps.

His tie was a mess, he was missing a shoe, and he was covered in leaves and twigs.

Arthur’s eyes shot open. He checked his watch.

9:14.

He jumped up in a flash; as he sprinted towards the office building his feet left dust clouds such was his ferocity. He jumped through the door and tapped vigorously and violently at the lift button.

The elevator beeped as the small number above the doors turned from 2 to 3.

“WHY ME!” shouted Arthur in disbelief. The elevator was going up.

He spun, leaving his tie flying through the air behind him and he ran towards the stairs. He was climbing like a man possessed; skipping one step at a time, then two, and then three!

He reached the meeting room and burst through the door, where he stood, panting and sweating. His tie was hanging over his shoulder and his big toe was sticking through a hole in his shoeless sock, his hair was wild, and mud painted his clothes.

“Nice of you to join us, Arthur.” shot a balding, well dressed, corporate looking man.

The lights flickered above the meeting table and the eyes of all of Arthur’s colleagues were now firmly planted on him, weighing his soul down like his expensive mortgage and the baby crib he had forgotten to buy.

“Any particular reason why, not only are you late, but you look as though you have been dragged backwards through a hedge?”

Arthur opened his mouth to explain, and the picture of the badger, the fox, the gormless boar, flooded his mind.

“A badg- a, a, in the toilet - animals - secr-”

His head fell with heavy resignation. It was pointless.

He slumped down into the empty seat, and slammed his hands into his pockets - trying to shrink as small as he could. His left hand brushed against something hard.

It was small, round, and rough.

Slowly, and carefully, he pulled his hand from under the table, shielding it from any prying eyes. He opened his palm.

It was a single acorn.

Arthur flinched, almost dropping it out the palm of his hand, and as he did so the acorn rolled and fell onto its side.

Arthur squinted. On the side of the shell, carved with surgical precision, was perfect smily face.

Arthur stared at it. The face smiled back.

The manager’s laptop hummed louder.